Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
