Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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