is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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