just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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