Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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