where does the pee come out of this thing
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
