white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
