Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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