Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
