He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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