I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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