i think my mom watched the whole time
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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