In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
