Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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