It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
