Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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