Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
