i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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