I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
