My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
