I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
