i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
