Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
