A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
