and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
