Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize