I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
