I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
