It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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