Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
