Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
