We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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