There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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