The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
