Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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