She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
