had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
