would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
