big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
