Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize