its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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