It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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