Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
