she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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