i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
