ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
