I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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