please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
