I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
