all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
