I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He better not be in your backpack
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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