I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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