Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
