Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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