He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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