I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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