remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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