why didn't you poke me back
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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