So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
