his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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